A day without thinking
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve shared anything here and even longer since I’ve written a newsletter. That’s because I have been suffering from the after effects of a concussion. Yep, I hit my head. And boy did it hurt. But that was nothing compared to the recovery.
At first I carried on just like normal. Well, a sloshy, foggy, sort of normal, but I basically kept up with my regular schedule. But as the weeks wore on I started to realize that I wasn’t getting better. The pain and fatigue I was suffering from was less intense, but it was more constant. Like a dull, and sometimes not so dull, pressure inside my head. It’s really hard to describe. I felt it in my nose, my eyes, even in my teeth, like that discomfort you get when you smell mercury or some other strong chemical smell. Except there wasn’t any smell. It was (and still is) all in my head.
Concussions, it goes without saying, are no fun. And Post Concussion Syndrome (which is what I seem to be suffering from) is icky with toxic sprinkles on top. This weekend is the first stretch where I’ve felt well enough to sit down and read or write for about three weeks. And I may be overdoing it even now so I should probably keep this short.
Lock your brain in a box
The upshot of all this is that I went through a stretch where it basically hurt to think. No writing, no reading, I couldn’t even play board games. (Yuck!) And I realized that pretty much everything I love to do involves a lot of thinking. During one stretch I sat in bed for a week avoiding even watching TV because it required too much concentration and focus. I couldn’t think much at all. And boy was that hard. Seriously, try it. For one minute. Even 30 seconds. It’s really hard not to think. It’s just something we do without, well, without thinking! (did I send your mind into a linguistic wormhole with that one?)
I’m still at only about 70%, but I do have more good stretches than bad now. From what I’ve read and what the doctor said, it could be a long while before I’m out of the woods. The brain can take weeks and sometimes months to fully recover from a concussion.
The good news is that having your dreams taken from you makes you really appreciate what a privilege it is to be able to do what you love. And this has made me more committed than ever to keep working on the projects God has laid upon my heart. I’ve set a goal to finish editing The Last Motley by the end of November. Barring any further health setbacks I really think I will accomplish it. I hope to get a little more feedback from that final draft and then send it off to be proofed starting early 2017.
So there’s your update. A reason for all these crickets around here the last few weeks. Pray for me if you can. For healing, for God’s tender mercy. For an end to these concussion symptoms. For no more days without thinking.